Sneaky Gnomes
by Disturbed Insomniac
Summary: what happens when Gnomes in mobile suits attack? read and find out.
1. Introduction

**This is another pointless story of mine. It's simply about gnomes in mobile suits. Just tell me what you think. I don't know all of the characters names or all that happens in the story, so I will make names up as I go. Enjoy or be bored. I don't care.**

**Chapter 1: Introduction**

Kira gazed at the sparkling stars in the black endless sky, as he looked out of a ship window. He thought about what he had went through in life and what was to come. _When will this war end? Will Athrane and I be able to resume our friendship after the war ends? Why must I fight against him? _Thought Kira as he walked to his room to take a nap.

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Athrane sat in his bed, reading a Pulp Fiction comic. Lacus sudenly appeared in the room, distracting Athrane's reading.

"What the hell are you doing here, Lacus?" asked Athrane, "Aren't you supposed to be on earth? I'm reading my comics. Do you mind?"

"Athrane, you are ever so rude! There are things of higher importance than reading comics. We are in the middle of a war for crying out loud!"

"I have better things to do than worry about that stupid war at the moment, like reading my comics." (Don't ask about the comics.)

Lacus gazed Athrane's green eyes with bitter disgust. "Do you simply not care that thousands of people are dying in this war that you are in the middle of? Go do your job as a coordinator Or else..."

"Or else what, Lacus dear?"

"Or else I will cease to be your fiancée!"

"But this is an arranged marriage isn't it?" Said Athrane

"That could be easily arranged!" said Pinky in a angry squeaky voice.

_Good. _Thought Athrane, _I have someone else in mind anyways._

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

As Kira entered his room, he was surprised to see Flay eating a bag of Lays chips, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"KIRA!" Exclaimed Flay as she wrapped her arms around him.

"What do you want, you little guilt tripping bitch?" asked Kira

Flay then kissed Kira on the lips.

"Wummnkrmvjg"

"What?"

Kira slapped Flay in the face. "Get off me you bitch! We broke up, remember?"

"You son of a bitch! You don't want to spend time with me because you are too scared to show your love to me! Is that right? (And all that bitching of hers that goes on and on and on..)"

All of a sudden, there was a big explosion sound. It sounded like this:

**KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Athrane was still reading his Pulp Fiction comics, ignoring Lacus's lecture and suddenly there was a big explosion sound that sounded like this.

**KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

What happens next? I don't know. Read the second chapter to find out.


	2. Interuptions

**This is where things get interesting. I now know all of the characters names (what a miracle), so you won't have to guess who anyone is. Here goes.**

**Chapter 2: Interruptions**

Athrane looked out of his room window, wondering what all the racket was all about. He suddenly saw miniature mobile suits attacking the ship.

"Attention all coordinators of ZAFT!" Cried the intercom voice. (I don't even know if they have intercoms.) "Get your assets to your mobile suits right now and fight these strange tiny things immediately!"

Athrane threw his comic book on the floor and ran towards his mobile suit.

"Wait! Athrane!" Shouted Lacus. Athrane punched Lacus in the face as he ran.

"No, you bitch! We have no time to wait. Get your ass in your mobile suit, Bitch!"

"Athrane! You are ever so cruel--"

Athrane got sick of Lacus and shot her in the head with his gun.

**CHUNK**

Kira stood up and looked out the window. He couldn't believe what he saw in front of him. Miniature mobile suits were attacking the Archangel.

"Kira! What is wrong? Are we under attack?" Asked Flay.

"What does it sound like? OF COURSE WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! WHY DO YOU THINK THE ALARM WENT OFF!"

"..." Answered Flay

As the alarm pierced Kira's eardrums, he ran towards his mobile suit.

"Ok. Let's launch now..." Said Kira, as he entered his mobil suit.

So, they launched out and started to fight the attacking mobile suits.

"AAAAHHHHHHH! wait! I forgot to buckle in." Yelled Kira, just a little too late, as he fell out of his suit.

**CHUNK**

Athrane was shooting down his assigned mini suits.

_**THUD!**_

Athrane wondered what that unusual thud was.

Suddenly, his suit blew up, and fell (imagine that! He was falling... in space!) He fell back on his ship. Well, he floated back to his ship more that anything.

**CHUNK**

Athrane was now in a beautiful field on earth, thinking of his secret lover that no one, not even Lacus knew about. _Kira..._

A cool feeling on his forehead brought him back to consciousness, interrupting his wonderful dream about Kira. Athrane was surprised when he finally opened his eyes.

"Kira? Is that you? Why are you here?" Asked Athrane in a dreamy voice.

"Kira? Why would you be happy to see Kira? He's our enemy, Remember?" Said a familiar, caring voice.

When Athrane reached full consciousness, he realized who it was.

"Pickle?... Pickle..."

"No Athrane. It's Nicol! Not Pickle! Nicol.." Said Nicol (of couse. Who else?) As he fixed his booger green hair.

Suddenly, bullets made their way into Nicol's back. He spit out blood onto Atrane's face. Nicol's body fell on Athrane. Athrane then shoved the corpse off of him and stared at the killer right in the eye.

He couldn't believe it. It was one of the tiny mobile suits.

Athrane managed to break the suit, by bashing it in the head with a nearby sledge hammer. The suit fell to peices, and the enemy inside was a...

**CHUNK**

Floating in the sky, Kira was attempting to catch up to his launched mobile suit by swimming as fast as he can. Soon out of breath, he said, "Damn!... It's..no...use! HUFF HUFF"

Kira felt something huge and hard smack him in the back. Whatever it was, it was moving very quickly. And then it grabbed him, at that moment, Kira realized he was in the hands of a ZAFT mobile suit.

_Athrane? _Thought Kira. He then realized that the mobile suit was bringing him towards the ZAFT ship.

The mobile suit landed and the injured pilot got out. Kira, now stuck in the suits hand, quietly escaped. When he made it to the ground, he then picked up a machine gun (which was miraculously left there by some irresponsible idiot.)

He started walking down the halls. He noticed that some of the mini suits were in the ship.

**CHUNK**

Athrane couldn't believe it. It was a garden gnome! The ship was under attack by... garden gnomes!

**Well, there's chapter 2. Please tell me what you think, or else I will send a gnome down to torture you. (Smiles) **


	3. Conclusion

**well, here's the third and final chapter of my so **(not)** exiting story. How will these garden gnomes in mobile suits be defeated? Read and find out. **

**Chapter 3: Conclusion**

As Kira gazed at the mini mobile suits, he thought: _Athrane, are you alright? Gee I hope so._ These mobile suits were about the size of an average human. _Strange. No regular human could fit in one of those. Maybe it's midgets or something._

Kira snook around the hallsshooting his miraculously fully loaded machine gun at any little mobile suit in his path. As the suits fell apart after being shot, Kira was in a shock. **_Garden gnomes! _**

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Athrane stared at the little gnome with great fear in his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cried Athrane like a sissy girl.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Ok, let's recap a little. The gnomes are attacking the Archangel and the ZAFT ship at the same time. There. (There was no point for that, oh well.)

Kira was shocked that the ships were being attacked by mere gnomes. He ran in the halls, shooting all the gnomes that came his way, just like all the other people in the ship.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"ATHRANE!" Shouted Kira as he heard his friend scream.

Kira headed for the room in which he heard his dear Athrane scream. His gun was now, not miraculously empty, so, now he was dodging bullets instead of firing them.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Athrane stared at the threatening gnome. He was sweating like a canoe full of holes. The gnome held a little nuke in his hand, ready to throw it at any second.

_Oh shit! He's gonna turn me to burnt toast! Burnt toast is yucky!_ Thought Athrane.

Suddenly, Athrane heard a clicking sound.

"Ah! Shit, God DAMN! Out of bullets! " Yelled a familiar voice.

"KIRA! You came to save me?" Asked an amazed Athrane.

"No.. I came to save my own ass. But since you're here, why not?"

Now, everyone in the ZAFT ship were shot to death by the gnomes. Now the only ones left were Kira and Athrane... Da da daaaaa! (go figure)

Suddenly, all the gnomes got out of their suits and surrounded the sole survivors.

"Oh shit! What do we do now?"

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

"Are we under attack?" Asked the annoying bitchful Flay.

"For the five hundred millionth time! YES!" Answered a very annoyed Sci.

"Everybody! Run around like a bunch of headless chickens!" Yelled a petrified Captain Murue as she herself ran around like a headless chicken.

Mu Laflaga closely followed the captain in his tacky purple suit. (HA! Mu... kinda sounds like a cow... MOOOOOOOOO! ... don't ask. I'm just very hyper.)

Everyone in the ship soon started to follow the captain's new orders. Yep, they were all professionally running around like a bunch of headless chickens.

A coin fell from the vents.

"Ooh! Look! A shiny coin!" Exclaimed Captain Murue. She then picked up the coin and then the whole ship blew up.

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Athrane started whacking gnomes with his sledge hammer, and Kira started to fire at the gnomes with his miraculously refilled machine gun. Athrane caught the gnome's bomb.

They ran to a mobile suit and climbed inside. (It was the same suit that Kira had been trapped in previously.)

They then launched, and Athrane (somehow) threw the bomb at the ZAFT ship, exterminating all the gnomes. (I know it doesen't make all that much sense, so just bear with me.)

**&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&**

Kira and Athrane flew back to Earth in the mobile suit. They got out of it and stared at the sparkling stars in the black sky and at the gigantic white cookie moon, holding hands.

(All right. Here comes the cheesy part...)

"I love you, Kira."

"I love you, too, Athrane."

They then held each other tightly and shared a french kiss.

They then rented a hotel room and lived happily ever after. **THE END! (HOORAAAAYYYY!)**

**Well, that was my pointless story. Please, PLEASE tell me what you think, or else I will throw a shiny coin at you and explode your whole house! MWAHAHAAA! (smiles!)**

**P.s. (Im desperate for reviews!)**


End file.
